Go Full Out!
“Go Full Out!” comes from a phrase we used in my Sorority’s chapter when it was time to step or perform. During practice for an upcoming performance, we would usually learn counts and steps for weeks and perform the dialed down version to exhibit what we had grasped without having to totally expend our energy each time. However, as the date of the performance neared, there were times when our StepMaster would shout, “Go full out!!”, which required precision, follow through, extraordinary flair, and full exertion while executing the routine. You see, if we did not practice putting on a full performance in the way that would be expected of us once we graced the stage, we would not have had the opportunity to fine tune our breathing and pacing nor synchronize our movements and cues. Consequently, our show would not be up to par with what we knew we were capable of because we had not taken the time to practice greatness. “Going full out” both during practices and performances was always a struggle for me because it threatened my comfort zone and required placing myself in a space where scrutinization and critique could occur despite putting forth my best effort. Thus, my natural inclination was to respond by doing well enough for my actions to possibly be perceived as greatness, with the self-awareness that I was not fully tapping into what I knew I was capable of.
After taking a moment for introspection while writing this post, I realized that this internal battle could be traced all the way back to when I was assessed and recognized as Gifted and Talented student in elementary school. Because differentiation in curriculum was required, I would be escorted from my primary classroom, as my classmates looked on curiously, to a portable building on the opposite side of the school where my specialized educational needs could be better met. When I returned hours later, my classmates would inquire about where I had been and what had I done during the time I was absent, with some voicing that it wasn't fair that I got to “miss class” or receive special treatment. As an introvert, this unwanted attention would prompt me to minimize my experiences and inadvertently dim my light, even at a young age. Over the years I’ve often struggled to reconcile the internal tug of war involving my innate desire to perform while remaining in the shadows, with the inescapable nudge to unapologetically display God-given greatness. Thankfully, I have learned how important it is to push past the ever-present fear of success looming in the shadows and to simultaneously surround myself with those who evoke greatness.
Abraham Maslow, who is recognized as the Father of Humanistic Psychology, addressed the fear of greatness and success in his book The Farther Reaches of Human Nature, stating that:
“We fear our highest possibilities…We are generally afraid to become that which we glimpse in our most perfect moments, under the most perfect conditions, under the conditions of greatest courage. We enjoy and even thrill to godlike possibilities we see in ourselves in such peak moments. And yet we simultaneously shiver with weakness, awe, and fear before these very same possibilities.”
He went on to profoundly relay that:
“If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be deeply unhappy for the rest of your life. You will be evading your own capacities, your own possibilities”.
Both of these statements deeply resonated with me, as they prompted me to recognize certain instances throughout my journey where I allowed the fear of greatness to debilitate and impede upon my personal power. Fortunately for those of us who have had to wrestle with the fear of success, there are a plethora of tools and strategies readily available to help overcome this propensity. In a blog post entitled How to Conquer the Fear of Success, Live Bold & Bloom provides us with 10 ways to do so:
1. Reclaim authenticity.
If you desire success and have the potential for it, then choosing to avoid it is a choice to be someone you are not. Recognize that you can't be happy and fulfilled by compromising your values, goals, or integrity.
2. Accept discomfort.
All change, even change for the better, involves some level of discomfort and uncertainty. We fear this discomfort will be unbearable or worse than it actually is.By accepting the inevitability of discomfort, you minimize the effects of it. And the joys of success often make the discomfort far more bearable.
3. Release “shoulds.”
One of the success traps is the belief we should be someone or do something because others around us (or society) tell us so.This goes back to being authentic and living within our integrity. Accept and embrace that you know best what is right for you.
4. Enjoy challenge.
We often fear challenges because we think we'll fail or anticipate hard work or drudgery. However, challenges can be positive and enjoyable.They stretch us, keep us focused, and put us in the state of flow where our minds are so engaged we lose track of time. Shift your thoughts about challenges to see them as positive rather than negative.
5. Reframe failure.
The fear of success is often a disguise for the fear of failure. To attempt success, you put yourself at risk of falling on your face.However, if you view failure as a stepping stone to success, then there's nothing to fear. Failure is evidence you've taken action and attempted a challenge.It also provides opportunity for learning and growing, providing information you can use for your next success.
6. Don't think, just act.
You might be sabotaging your success unconsciously. But on the other hand, you could be overthinking it.Overthinking leads to confusion, “analysis paralysis,” and unnecessary procrastination. Yes you do have to think to analyze decisions and choose your best actions, but set a thinking deadline after which you must take action. Don't allow rumination to continue indefinitely.
7. Find your tribe.
Align yourself with people who aren't afraid of success and who joyfully go after it, knowing they are fully deserving of everything success provides them.The quality of people you surround yourself with influences your own state of mind and outlook. Allow the “success mindset” to rub off on you.Whatever you do, minimize your time with people who try to hold you back or who see life through a negative lens.
8. Celebrate every milestone.
Rather than diminishing your abilities and achievements, celebrate them.Sharing your successful milestones and giving yourself a pat of the back isn't a bad thing. It's a motivator and an acknowledgment of your hard work and tenacity.The people who want the best for you will celebrate with you.
9. Have a vision.
When you create a vision for the life you want and set goals to make that vision a reality, you have something specific to work toward.In this way, you can see every success along the way as a stepping stone to realizing your vision. You have a passion for what you are doing, and nothing will hold you back.Even if success feels uncomfortable to you, knowing your successes are part of a bigger plan can help minimize your discomfort.
10. Enjoy the journey.
Big successful benchmarks happen a few times a year, or maybe a few times a decade. They arrive and depart quickly.Although it feels great to reach those benchmarks, the real, lasting fun is in the journey.Take the pressure off of yourself related to success. Try to view every day as an opportunity for small wins and amazing experiences.Savor the process as much as the potential outcomes. When you focus your time and energy on the present moment, you don't worry about future success so much
Have you experienced the fear of success or greatness at any point during your life? Are there any strategies presented that you recognize needing to employ? As WOC do you think we are especially prone to dimming our light or suppressing our greatness? Drop us a line in the comments!
Lastly, I would like to leave you Ebonies with this powerful excerpt from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by teacher, author and lecturer Marianne Williamson. This widely popular selection eloquently sums up the responsibility we have not only to ourselves as WOC, but also to others, to embrace our greatness and operate in the gifts that each one of us obtains:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
